by Mary Quigley on March 8, 2010
Baby Boomers begot Boomerang Kids who move back home and then stay, and stay, and stay creating a “mutigenerational boarding house.” That’s the term coined in a recent survey that found that adult children are moving back, not as a temporary arrangement, but often for a year and beyond. The general manager of that boarding house is a baby boomer mom who often feels stressed to be back in a role that she was ready to retire to the “been there, done that” category.
Not surprisigingly, many women reported that the boomerang experience “affected their available discretionary income, their marriage, and how much they can eat out or travel,” said Stephen Reily, the CEO of Vibrant Nation, a website for women over age 50.
In an online survey, Vibrant Nation asked readers about their boomerang children. The findings:
–63 percent said adult children had returned home to live
–66 percent expect those children to remain for a year or more
– 40 percent found that the experience has either strained or greatly worsened their relationship with the adult child
–77 percent were helping with their adult children’s expenses
–40 percent had dipped into their own retirement funds for the increased expenses [click to continue…]
by Mary Quigley on March 8, 2010
Will our kids complain about us as we age?
Most of us have dealt with the trials and tribulations of aging parents. In 20 years the first of the boomers hit 80. What happens when we can no longer live alone (yes it could happen!!) and our children try to move us to assisted living or ask us to move in with them (now there’s a switch from boomerang kids).
The $64,000 question: Will we be any different from our parents in resisting change?
In a New York Times blog, Paula Span reasons that boomers will be indeed be more reasonable because our lifestyles are so different from the Greatest Generation. She writes,
“We are, for example, much more accustomed to paying people — from house cleaners to personal trainers — to help in all sorts of ways, so I doubt we’ll suffer as much angst about hiring home care aides or geriatric care managers or drivers. (How we’ll pay for it is another matter.)”
Working for your child
Unless your kids are entrepreneurs chances are you won’t be working for them but your next boss could be someone the same age as your kid, especially as baby boomers need and/or want to keep working.
It’s well documented that millennials and gen x have very different work styles than Baby Boomers. In “7 Tips for Working for a Younger Boss,” U.S. News and World Report offered the following advice:
- Acknowledge their expertise.
- Use electronic communication.
- Don’t expect too much face time
- Point out your results.
- Act your age.
- Update your skills.
- Don’t compete.
Pass Along Your Wisdom
If your kids are not interested in all the accumulated advice you have to offer maybe someone else is. Consider being a mentor, suggests psychologist Susan Krause Whitbourne in her Psychology Today blog.
The benefits of mentoring go two ways, writes Dr. Whitbourne, who found in her study of midlife boomers that no matter what their jobs, the most fulfilled were the people who were reaching out to the young and helping them through life hurdles.
“Keeping an open mind to the ideas of the young keeps you mentally refreshed and young. You’ll also increase your chances of maintaining your edge over your age peers who refuse to stay in touch with the young.”
Baby Boomers begot Boomerang Kids who move back home and then stay, and stay, and stay creating a “mutigenerational boarding house.” That’s the term coined in a recent survey that found that adult children are moving back, not as a temporary arrangement, but often for a year and beyond. The general manager of that boarding house is a baby boomer mom who often feels stressed to be back in a role that she was ready to retire to the “been there, done that” category.
