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A pregnant bride?

Dear Answer Mom: I’m embarrassed and don’t know what to tell relatives and friends. My son, who’s only 26, got married in a big wedding 6 months ago because the bride wanted a big affair. Nobody knew the bride was pregnant. Now the baby was just born and some people are asking if the baby came early. What do I say? –Embarrassed Mom

Dear Embarrassed Mom: Just smile and say the baby didn’t come early, the wedding came late! Be happy that at least there was a wedding. You’re probably a young Grandma. Celebrate. Congratulations for a healthy baby, Grandma. Concentrate on that.

Dear Answer Mom: I think we’re going backwards in time. I’m upset about my daughter who wants to have breast enlargement done. I thought the feminist movement helped women to accept themselves and their bodies but it evidently hasn’t helped my daughter. She has a boyfriend although she’s not engaged to him but I think she’s trying to please him by doing this. She’s a lovely young woman and I think this is completely unnecessary but what do you think I can say or do that might influence her without alienating her? –Aggravated

Dear Aggravated: First she needs to understand that her breasts are not there for any boyfriend. They’re for her and for any babies she may nurse in the future. She also needs to understand that normal women come in all shapes and sizes and their attractiveness, including their sex appeal, does not depend on the With professional drug Marijuana Detox in a warm, caring environment, you can start on the path to your new life today. size of their breasts no matter what the unreal models and actresses look like in pictures. She needs to understand and value herself but obviously she doesn’t so I would recommend that you ask her to at least see a therapist for a while before she does this unnecessary procedure. After that if she’s an adult it’s her choice.

Dear Answer Mom: I have two married sons who live in two different states. I get along well with each couple. I’m a young sudden widow now and they each said I should move near one of them so they can help me as I get older. They want me to choose which one I’ll move near and they say it won’t make any difference which one I choose. Do you think it’s a good idea for me to do this – choosing I mean? I won’t be moving in with them but just be living nearby–Deanne

Dear Deanne: Moving near one of them is a good idea if you’ve thought it through and want to do that. Choosing between them is not. When we want to teach kids to be fair when they share we have one of them cut a piece of cake in two and the other one then gets to choose his piece. That was easy – a “piece of cake” as the saying goes. This however, is no piece of cake. You’re right to be hesitant about making a choice between them. So, after assuring them you’ll be happy near either one, insist that  they’ll  have to choose which one you live near. That’s your insurance against the “Mom loves you best” sibling syndrome.

Questions for the Answer Mom?  Send them to Helen Oxenberg, MSW, ACSW at Helen@mothering21.com.

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