Lots of Lists!
The news roundup this week is a list of lists on how to deal with our adult children. This topic certainly generates a lot of press because, as N.Y. Times reporter Beth Kolbliner put it so well,
Parents are improvising as they find themselves in the role of life coach, career counselor, financial adviser, real estate agent and pseudo-psychologist for their adult children.
In a special Times section on the sandwich generation , Ms. Kobliner’s piece on “Guiding a Child to Financial Independence” offered these tips:
- Expect children to move home
- Do not sacrifice too much
- Do not micromanage careers
- Help with financial planning
- Have the debt talk
- Consider health insurance
- Let them define success
In the “M21 Believe or Not” category, ere.net, a recruiting website, listed seven questions asked by Gen Y job applicants (our kids) during actual interviews. The article provided answers to help HR people “make a sound evaluation of a candidate’s potential.” We’ll just look at the questions from “7 Questions You Wouldn’t Expect During a Millennial Interview”
- If I don’t like my boss, how can I get that changed?
- How many hours per day will I be expected to work?
- Do you allow the use of Facebook?
- If I don’t like my pay, who do I talk to about fixing that?
- If we do reading for our job, can we do it at the gym during work hours?
- Who will be my mentor and coach while I’m learning the new job?
- What does the company do to make work fun?
Another list, this one from acolumnist for the Prairie Star newspaper in Montana, asks “How To Tell of Your Children Are Finally Adults”
“What are the signs that your young son or daughter “gets it” when it comes to understanding that you have lives with needs and goals in addition to your children’s comfort and well-being?” asks Dr. Val Farmer. Among them:
- When they put gas in the car after they have borrowed it.
- When they remember your birthday and special occasions with phone calls or gifts.
- When they pay back money they owe or return something they borrowed
- When they say “thank you” for little courtesies and considerations
- When they finally take possession of their own keepsakes, books and possessions
- When they ask how you feel and are genuinely interested.
An East Coast attitude, a little less empathetic, is reflected in New York magazine’s tongue-in-check piece on “The Rise of The Adult–Shaped Child” which lists the “characteristics of these beings”:
- They are costly.
- They are useless
- They are imbeciles.
- The good news is, they have other skills, namely knowing how to work the DVR and Google-stalk old flames from high school.