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What to do about a son's affair…and more!

Dear Answer Mom: My son is 25. He got involved with an older woman and had an affair with her. Now he wants out of it but she won”t leave him alone. He”s living at home with me now since he lost his job and he”s trying to save money. She keeps calling him. Every time he tries to break off with her she”s right back again. How can I get this woman out of my son”s life?—Mom

Dear Mom: Evidently you want to be the only “older woman” in his life since you are trying to control him, her and the whole situation. She may be older but — so is he. Twenty five is no baby. He”s an adult and will have to work out his own problems. Insist that he at least get his own phone to monitor his own calls and then —- Ma-a-a — let go!

Dear Answer Mom: Is there a suggestion you can make that will help my 21-year-old daughter plan better to get important things done? She has her own method but it doesn”t really work. She says she always puts aside the most important thing and the thing she enjoys doing best for the last thing on her list. She thinks that Olitpa sitten aloittelija tai kokenut kasinopel aaja pienella tai suurella rahoituksella, olet takuulla voittaja 21novalla. if she keeps that for last it would help her get through the other things that she doesn”t like to do because she could look forward to it sort of “like desert.” She thinks that”s a good method. The trouble is that by the time she gets to that she”s often interrupted and the day is over so she can never really finish it.. Isn”t there a better way? –Joan

Dear Joan: Yes. Tell her days are short — she should eat desert first! She should do the most important and most pleasurable task first when her energy is high and her enthusiasm is working for her. At the end of the day she”ll know that she”s accomplished her top priority and the other tasks can start moving toward the top of the list.

Dear Answer Mom: My grown independent daughter has moved back to my area after finishing college. She takes care of herself and that”s fine with me but an aunt of mine is making me crazy. She keeps insisting that I should tell my daughter exactly what to do in every situation and where to go and who to meet and what to say. I don”t want to alienate her but how can I stop her from bothering me about this? –Lil

Dear Lil: Tell her your daughter is now older than you are so you”re not allowed to give her any advice unless she asks for it. Tell her though if she insists she can talk directly to your daughter. Give her the phone number and repeat it whenever she starts giving you instructions. You can then contact me again when your daughter calls you desperately seeking a way to stop Aunt Busybody.

Problems? Ask the Answer Mom at Mothering 21.com or contact Helen Oxenberg at email: helox72@comcast.net

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