Dear Answer Mom: I”m at my daughter”s house and I saw your column there so I decided to ask a question about my grandchildren who are in their early 20s. I love to have my grandchildren come to visit or at least I used to.
I like to talk to young people and get their ideas. Now though when they come they”re busy looking down all the time and typing into a hand held phone, machine, tablet or something. They never look up and they”re busy the whole time tweeting, twittering or whatever it is they”re doing and they do it fast fast fast back and forth back and forth. I get dizzy watching.
They say Grandpa we”ll teach you how to tweet and then you can do it with us. I don”t want to do that. They think they have something to teach me.
Shouldn”t they learn something from me, like how to look up and have a conversation with people. What do you think? –The Grandpa
Dear The Grandpa: Ah yes. There used to be something called conversation. Unfortunately conversation is now the slowest form of communication.
However, there is much for them to learn from the “art of conversation” and it is an art. Not only do you learn the use of language instead of short cuts but there is also much to be learned from looking at someone and watching their facial expressions and listening to their tone of voice and their use of their hands while talking etc. These skills help to form understanding and maintain relationships.
Make their visits a learning experience for them. Set rules. Machines must be turned off at mealtimes. While you are driving they can tweet all they want but as soon as you get to your destination all machines must be turned off or even better left in the car.
Tweeting is off. Talking is on. In case they have forgotten how to talk have some interesting topics to help start them off. All this will not only be good for their brain, it will also be good for their neck which will retrieve its original ability to move their head up and down and it will save it before it gets permanently casino online frozen in the down position.
Dear Answer Mom: I own a company and a few of the people who work for me come from a different culture that always looked down on my people. (I”m from a minority population.) Now they depend on me for their living so I pay them fair and when I give them their online casino salary every two weeks I always tell them to remember that a —- man gave it to them. I figure that should make them appreciate and like us more and work harder. So far it doesn”t work that way but I figure it will eventually.
Now my son who just got a master”s degree in business keeps arguing with me and tells me I”m inspiring my workers to be resentful and work less, not more. We keep arguing about this now that he”s in the business with me. He thinks he”s a big shot now and can call the shots. Who do you think is right? —The Boss
Dear The Boss: Your son is right He is a big shot because he”s calling the right shots. However, those right shots are hitting you the wrong way.
Your biggest problem here is not our relationship with your workers but your relationship with your son now and in the future. You evidently want him in the business but you”re beginning to feel a loss of control as he gradually takes over.
To make this work you must stop seeing him as a competitor and start seeing him as a partner who can learn from you at the same time that you can learn from him.
As for those workers stop “rubbing it in” that they”re dependent on you. This just makes people resentful. Respect is what you want and to get it you have to give it. Pay a fair wage for a fair week”s work without the barbs and respect will flow both ways.
Problems? Write to Helen Oxenberg, The Answer Mom at Mothering21.com or email:email@example.com