The Crowded Nest: The New Normal

March 25, 2012

“Washington is not a place to live in. The rents are high, the food is bad, the dust is disgusting and the morals are deplorable. Go West, young man, go West and grow up with the country.” –New York Tribune editorial, July 13, 1865 Substitute any major metro area for “Washington,” and that advice seemed [...]

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Weekly Reader: Job Market Gloom and Doom

March 25, 2012

If you want an idea of exactly how hard it is for college grads to find work read “Hello Cruel World: What the Fate of One Class of 2011 Says About the Job Market.” The N.Y. Times surveyed 226 graduates of Drew University and found that seven months after commencement many were underemployed, working one [...]

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The kids are okay;
it’s the parents who are confused!

March 19, 2012

Last week marked NYU’s spring break so while students enjoyed fun in the sun–some on southern beaches and others in unseasonably warm Washington Square Park—I had time to socialize at lunches with friends and at a St. Patrick’s Day party. As often with baby boomer social situations, the conversation started with “So how are the [...]

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Boomerang Kids: Causes and Consequences

March 10, 2012

What does  Alberto, 30, an electrician from Bra, Italy,  have in common with Akiro, 28, a restaurant worker from Tokyo, and John, 25, an arts foundation staffer from Newton,Mass? They all live at the “Inn of Mom and Dad.”   However, the cultural acceptance of their lifestyle varies. Alberto’s “mammiso” living arrangement is considered normal [...]

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Time to land the helicopter?

March 5, 2012

For parents of college seniors, spring brings “the best of times, the worst of times,” and depending on your viewpoint, those categories can overlap. On one hand, the close of the college years can fall into the “worst” category if you are sad to see that chapter end, or it can be a “best” if [...]

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The Gray Divorces

March 5, 2012

All those empty nests are getting emptier, according to a new study that found that the divorce rate has doubled in the last two decades among Americans over 50. Those findings were reported in “The Gray Divorce Revolution,” a study by two Ball State sociologists. While the empty nest seemed an immediate cause to blame, [...]

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Playing Fair with Adult Children, part 2

February 27, 2012

Last week in “Playing Fair” we introduced family therapist Dr. B. Janet Hibbs whose academic and clinical work focuses on the role  fairness plays in our relationships. This week we continue our discussion of how her findings relate to parents and their adult children. Q. Some young adults have what you call a “relationship of [...]

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Parent-Adult Child Relationships: Playing Fair

February 20, 2012

Recall the times when children grumbled, “That’s not fair!” Often our flip response was, “Life’s not fair.” We hope our adult children have forgiven us for life’s inequities,  large and small. Still, they sometimes harbor resentment over our shortcomings as parents. The resentments can deepen into an emotional gulf that both parents and children don’t acknowledge [...]

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Looking for Superman?

February 13, 2012

Your adult daughter calls brimming with exciting news, “I’ve met a guy I really like.” Our Pavlovian response, after the “Where did you meet?” is usually “And what does he do?” Be honest: We’re hoping that Prince Charming comes with suitable employment and at least the same educational pedigree as our daughters. Yet, it’s getting [...]

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Work for Free?

February 13, 2012

On the subway last week I noticed a college-age woman lugging two big garment bags.  No, she had not gone shopping; most likely she was a fashion magazine intern schlepping downtown to deliver clothing to a photo shoot.  For her “educational” efforts, the student was earning college credits that cost her parents thousands of dollars. [...]

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